And I passed you the bottle
We drank like a knife
Cutting Freud on full throttle
I don’t give my heart
But I gave it to you
Without her( )in the start
Of my substitute blues
And the band played boleros
The double bass snagged
Was the first time I’d cared oh
How sweet when we shagged
And the balcony shuddered
The drain stank of shit
And the cats chased each other
(You sucked on my tit)
Do you know how it happened
How good turned to bad
Or why I seek maps of
The way back from sad
I thought that I’d found it
The day that we wed
But there’s no way around it
We don’t share a bed
And strange as it seems
(Do I miss your embrace?)
I relive it in dreams
Of the dragons I’ve chased
© Vee 1993-2012
© Vee 1993-2012
Note: with the word 'son', I refer to a style of Cuban music, rather than a male offspring
Hello Vee! It's Amy here, migrating over from Memoirs :) I was thinking the same as you, we should stop cluttering up Shane's space. Ha!
ReplyDeleteWell I've just started chapter 3 of your story and I'm likin it more n more. What I was meaning to say earlier was for you not to give yourself such a hard time about it, ya know? Even though an H story can be somewhat predictable, it can still be great with good writing. I just finished up Trainspotting and your story here reminds me of it a bit. Not in a bad plagiaristic way at all, but the streaming line of thoughts, the back and forth between characters where sometimes you have to re-read to fully grasp what just happened and between who (still not in a bad way. Let me just preface this ALL with "I mean not in a bad way" haha) I like how you don't end every quote with: ", said So n So. Anyway, like I say, I'm enjoyin it! Thanks for sharing :)
Glad I ran into you in this infinite www.world
Best wishes,
Amy xo
Ps. I figured the top post would be the best spot for this. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that :P
Hey Amy,
ReplyDeleteHahaha, yes, it was getting a bit like writing on someone else's facebook status off topic wasn't it?
And thanks for coming over here to comment: it means a lot. You know what, I love getting comments at the moment, seeing as I'm new to this blagging thing, as it gives me an idea of whether it's worth continuing. So I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Don't get me started on Trainspotting hahahaha. I think it's the only book he wrote worth reading, and I guess everyone writing about heroin gets their work compared with it.
I remember really enjoying Jerry Stahl's Permanent Midnight when I read it back in the 90s, but I've not picked it up since, so couldn't recommend it as I might read it now and wonder what all the fuss was about.
As for my book, I wrote it a very, very long time ago and am aware it's rather clichéd. That's just my inner critic. But I'll keep posting it.
When I get more computer literate, I'll try to put it on a separate page of the blog in proper order so it makes sense for people who haven't started reading it yet, or it'll end up getting lost in all the other posts.
Well thanks again for your interest,
hope you're having a great day/night wherever you are
Love&Inspiration,
Vee X
Afterthought:
ReplyDeleteDamn, not that I'm comparing Memoires to facebook! That is so not what I meant at all! I think you'd be hard pressed to find a better blog than Memoires.
See, foot in mouth syndrome strikes again...